The lovers in all this?
He works 6 to 3 and she works 9 to 5.
He sleeps at 8 and she at 11.
One's projects, the other's projects.
Common dreams and others.
2, 3 or 4 children. School and daycare routine. Lunches and dinners.
Wanting to make up time on the weekends but getting caught up in the routine. Grocery shopping, cleaning and the unexpected.
Try together to be good parents. Ensure that children lack nothing. Love, time, listening and empathy.
Take care of the house and grounds. Cars and animals.
Family life often moves at full speed. It's a roller coaster of beautiful and less beautiful. A long marathon of questioning. A marathon in which sometimes we forget to take care of our running partner.
And that’s really often what happens!
The pressure is on to be good parents. So much so that sometimes we forget to be good lovers. We are constantly running, forgetting to help each other.
What would happen if we took the time? If we really took care of each other like we take care of our kids.
I once heard someone give a secret to a successful marriage:
1 romantic dinner every three weeks.
1 night without children every three months.
1 trip for two to three year olds.
Not everyone can afford this winning recipe... But if only we tried. If we took the trouble to be a couple. To be in love. To remember why we fell in love with each other.
If the one who goes to bed at 8 took the time to prepare the pajamas of the one who sleeps at 11...
If the one who finished at 5 was going to bathe the one who finished at 3…
I think that's the secret. The attention, the work and the perseverance. Saying yes to yourself in moments that sound more like no.
Love each other and make sure that we continue to fill this pot of love even when we deplete it by giving to our little ones.
I write these lines here remembering that even at home we often forget each other. That we are often good parents and not so good lovers.
That I too have to fill my love pot because it empties quickly and that's not what we really want.
- Anny Gareau, owner off the beaten track .